How is breastfeeding going so far?

Breastfeeding, as the whole motherhood experience, has been a journey of self (re)discovering. In the beginning, breastfeeding was extremely difficult, I had too much milk, Nino had difficulties drinking and was constantly washed with so much milk! I felt I was failing as a mother because I thought I couldn’t properly feed him.

I felt I was failing as a mother because I thought I couldn’t properly feed him.

I was in the middle of this storm of emotions and couldn’t see a solution for it. I thought so many times about giving up! I had no idea that breastfeeding could be one of the most challenging things after your baby is born, and I think one mistake that is made when it comes to breastfeeding is that as first-time moms, we only get the romantic idea of it, and when you have difficulties, you think you are doing something wrong, and that can feel extremely lonely.

As first-time moms, we only get the romantic idea of it.

Only when I started talking to other mothers about it, I could hear that many of them also had challenges with breastfeeding and that all the feelings I had (and still have sometimes about other aspects of motherhood), were recognisable to other women too! This is extremely powerful, the feminine connection we get when talking about it, and I think we should talk more openly about how difficult breastfeeding can be, despite also being wonderful. Because the more open we talk, the more we can make other mothers feel embraced and loved.

I think we should talk more openly about how difficult breastfeeding can be.

On average, how many times a day do you feed?

Now around 4 or 5 times a day.

Did your mother breastfeed you? Did this affect your own breastfeeding experience?

Yes, in Brazil, breastfeeding is strongly advised and it is not so common to give powdered milk unless for medical reasons. It had always been clear I would breastfeed Nino.

How does it feel to breastfeed in a public place?

I never had difficulties with breastfeeding in public, but I do prefer places which are quieter and more peaceful. We have the power of nurturing in our own body, and this is amazing. If people see it as negative, the problem lies with them, not with us!

How do you look at your breasts? And has that look changed since you breastfed?

I think it changed especially in the sense of seeing the breasts beyond the sensual idea that we have from them. And having this change of mindset also helps a lot in being able to breastfeed in public.

Should a mom-to-be be sitting next to you, what advice would you give her?

Breastfeeding is wonderful, magic and all the positive things. But it can be hard and present to you the most difficult moments you have ever had, taking you to your limits physically and emotionally. It is also ok to stop it from the moment it no longer makes sense to you. This is normal and it does not mean you are doing a bad job as a mom.

Connect with other moms, talk to your mother if possible, and to your partner.

Connect with other moms, talk to your mother if possible, and to your partner. Talk to your baby, openly explain your struggles to her/him, and that they are so much loved, and you are just doing the best you can. While you are talking with them, you are also talking to yourself and that can be calming for both of you! They can understand more than we think! And more: allow yourself to cry a river of tears!

Do you remember a funny moment while feeding?

If I look back, I want to laugh at the moments Nino had milk all over his face, eyes and ears! This has taught me to take things a bit lighter as well.
 

What role does your partner play in the course of breastfeeding?

The support of my partner was essential in the most difficult moments, he has been always by my side and supported me in whatever decision I made. After Nino completed 3 months my milk production was regulated, and I am so happy I didn’t give up!

Where do you see yourself in this and one year (when it comes to breastfeeding)?

I feel that me and Nino are both ready to slowly start our farewell of breastfeeding. So, i don’t think that within a year I will still breastfeed.

Is there anything else you'd like to share that you couldn't share above?

I think breastfeeding (and motherhood) is just seeing yourself in the middle of a force of nature, and that can be beautiful and brutal at the same time. Above all, it is a powerful tool to self-knowledge, and the more you get to know your child, the more you get to know yourself! I find it amazing.

Breastfeeding (and motherhood) is a powerful tool to self-knowledge.